Interpersonal conflicts always occur during communication if there is misinterpretation and miscommunication. If these conflicts are not solve properly, the relationship between the persons who involve will become worse and end up become "enemy". Thus, it is important for us to identify interpersonal conflict and try to solve it as soon as possible to avoid losing our family members, friends or colleagues.
The interpersonal conflict that I would like to describe here is real situation which happen in Management committee of a student body. The characters involved which are A and B who is Vice President and Assistant International Special Project Officer respectively. Lets start the story of this complicated interpersonal conflict.
As this student body plan to have a Oversea Community Service trip which during year end school vacation, A and B together with the company of Officers from school went to China to have recce trip during mid year school vacation to observe the location of the trip as well as the feasibility to conduct the trip. Oh,I forgot to mention that A is a guy and B is a girl. A is a very nice guy and treated B very nicely during the recce trip. However, B thought that the way A treated her hint her that he likes her. As B is a simple minded girl, she started to develop some feelings toward A.
Unfortunately, there were rumours that B likes A after both A and B came back from China. Initially, A did not bother about these rumours and still continue to be very close with B. However, as the rumours getting spread out, A started to avoid B and B felt very annoyed and sad. B wanted to confront with A but she did not dare to do so. Fortunately, after a few weeks, A took the initiative to talk with B and clarify with B that both of them are just friends. B accepted A's clarification and decided to treat A as friend. Yet, after the clarification, B found that A is still trying to avoid her. B feel very desperate and then she found out from a friend that A still misinterpreted that she likes him although after clarification.
Thus, from the scenario above, the possible reason which caused this interpersonal conflict is that A still thought that B has feelings toward him and he try to avoid her to minimize the contact between them. What should B do?Should B confront and clarify with A or just stay silent and wait A to take the initiative to communicate with her?
UCS1001 MME Tri2 2023-24 Dynamic Thinkers
2 weeks ago
This is a very "dramatic" scenario, Pooisan. I won't comment on the conflict though since this is the responsibility of your blogging group members. I will say though that there are quite a few language errors in this post, for example: "But what should B do? Trying to confront and clarify with A? Or just stay silence and wait A to take the initiative to communicate with her?"
ReplyDeletePlease review this.
At the same time, I don't want my critique to eclipse your hard work. I appreciate that!
Hi pooi san,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting conflict which isnt uncommon i would say. It is sad but I think A is probably avoiding B to make sure that he is not giving false hopes to B or maybe to help her get over him.
I think before she approaches A for a talk, its better if she can verify that he is avoiding her. Like through a common friend. This is because B can sometimes be paranoid and imagine too.
She can start the topic by reasoning out that they need to have a good communication for the welfare of the committee. Then go on to explain to him that they are matured people and its silly to avoid each other for something small. However, she needs to put her words into actions. This is a delicate issue so she needs to be a little cautious in her actions.
Or she can give A some space and time for him to figure out on his own while she continues to show him that she considers him as a friend still.
Thanks for sharing this real situation. I hope my feedback is practical and makes sense:)
hi pooi san,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with us! This is a rather delicate situation because no one is really at fault here i feel. It will be indeed sad if A and B can't get back to being friends because of this incident :(
I think Crackpot has given a very objective analysis of this issue from both A and B's perspective. So i just want to add on that if A has indeed verified that B is trying to avoid her, it is better not to confront him regarding this as it will only make future communication more difficult. He may had good intentions(like not wanting to mislead her)or perhaps he simply didnt know how to react to this. In this case i think it's better for A to contact B only for business matters or ask a common friend along when they go out to have fun as a group of friends. Over time the awkwardness will be reduced and B may stop avoiding A.
Hope my suggestions can help!
Hi Brad,
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing out my language error. I have edited it!!!=)
Hi Crackpot and Jingyang,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your suggestions and I really appreciate it.
I think is quite true for A to verify whether B is trying to avoid so that would mess up the situation.
Jingyang, your suggestion on how to reduce the awkwardness is really a good way. Thank you so much!!!=)
Hi Pooi San,
ReplyDeleteI feel that this boy-girl-relationships issues are common especially in CCA Clubs where people get to know one each better. Therefore it is very important to avoid making unnecessary gestures that might lead to misunderstanding.
I think B should talk to A's close friend to try to understand how A actually felt. If the time is right, I think it is better for B to take the initiative to clear up the matter instead of waiting.
P.S : Sorry for the late comment!